Churchy renewing my hopey

I must admit.
This morning when I woke up, I was not feeling happy, hopeful, grateful, healthy, etc.  Basically, it was me against the world, with the world taking a big, big lead. To make matters worse, I have been going to church alone lately because my roommates either go to different wards or go home or just don't go, so I was looking forward to feeling like a loser and sitting by myself all through church. By the way, isn't it funny how often we base our decisions off of how people will react or what they'll think of us afterward? Isn't it enough just to be ourselves and be loved for everything we are? I suddenly feel inspired.
So, I got ready for church and sat on my bed in my room pretty much the whole morning doing stuff on my computer while I waited the time away. When I actually got to church, I was feeling quite depressed. I was most definitely down on myself and on my whole situation in life (mainly the fact that I still don't have a job, but no worries). I picked a random bench and sat next to a woman who I'd never met before. While I was sitting in sacrament meeting, thinking about all of the terrible things going on in my life and wondering how I will possibly ever make it through, I was extremely moved by the talks. Apparently it didn't cross my mind that the topic would be on gratitude due to the fast approaching turkey day holiday.  Basically, the talks that were prepared for sacrament today were prepared for me. I most definitely needed to hear them. It wasn't that I heard one specific line that made me know I needed to hear that today, but the way the talks were prepared and the spirit that the speakers conveyed brought me down to a whole new level and taught me as well as helped me understand why gratitude amongst trials is so important and necessary. I can't really describe how I felt, but all I know is that when I walked into that chapel, I felt the world pressing down on me and the extreme pain of loneliness and worthlessness that I thought I had finished feeling for awhile. When I walked out of the chapel, however, I felt a renewed sense of hope and love for everything in my life. I feel so incredibly grateful that I am actually here and that I've had such a crazy awesome opportunity to grow and learn immense things about myself. It's a little frustrating when people hear I'm only 18 and call me young and tell me I know nothing about life and about myself, but I know myself better than they do, and I know that while I may be 18 physically, I'm not 18 emotionally. I've had a lot of chances to grow in my life, starting when I was pretty young, and this moment in life right now, for me, is another one of those times when I've grown so much. If anything, I at least feel like I'm 19. :) In all actuality, I don't really care about age. But, on to the point.
I feel so grateful for the gospel and for the spirit, because going to church today was what I needed in order to change my attitude about life and to just keep trying even when things seem impossible. I know God is going to help me, even if I have been very angry with him for the past two weeks. It's time to repent and forget that anger and let the atonement take care of my pain, so that I can turn my frustrations and depression and everything into a positive outlook on life that is centered around Christ and living so that I can return to Him. 
After that amazing spiel, let me also inform you, I am giving a talk on Sunday :) Heh. The funny thing is, I was sitting in church thinking, this girl has only been here for a month and is already giving a talk. What have I not done to get noticed so that I can give a talk? I really want to give a talk! Crazy stuff happens when you're friends with God, though, because he prompts those around you to do the exact thing you've been waiting for. Right after Relief Society, the Bishop's assistant took me aside and asked me to give a talk next week.
So there you have it.
The spirit is real and works wonders in our lives each day. I absolutely LOVE it.
And on that positive note, I leave you until next time I write. Good day!